Managed it...

...through the haze of my fever-y evening: an update (of the Etsy variety).

I would really love NOT to be sick. I'm not very good at it. I'm a grumping, miserable patient, especially when C is gone doing the last bit of clean-out of the farmhouse and I'm left to keep the little guy entertained or at least prevent him from abusing his house-siblings. He was very easy-going, however, when he got in touch with his feminine side and dressed up as a Queen in his playsilks:

And yes, that's a dragon costume hanging up behind him, and yes, I wish it fit me.

atomhearteve put some funny ideas in my head, and now I am pining for redwoods and California granite.

WINTER HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Although, there is an 8-year-old who's really excited about teaching me to ski today. I'm anticipating some hilarious moments.

Please take my mind off my insides.

There are a million things I should be doing. Or making a list about doing. BUT, I have cramps from the depths of Hell and need distractions while I cuddle with my hot water bottle and breathe in and out.

1. Can you cook? Yes! And well! But I have this NEED to bake, mostly. Cookies, pie, root vegetables...But, man am I glad it's not my night to cook.

2. What was your dream growing up? Like every other kid in 4th grade, I wanted to be a paleontologist. After that, I had dreams of fronting some hardcore rock band, and then to be a stage actress. I went as far as my third year of college with the last one before realizing that I'd drawn myself too inward for such aspirations. I hold onto the dream of supporting myself with my art and doing something with my life that makes the world a better place for everyone.

3. What talent do you wish you had? Illustration. Piano. Violin.

4. Favorite place? Ocean. Redwoods. Blankets.

5. Favorite vegetable? Buttercup squash.

6. What was the last book you read? Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. I felt like a good re-read.

7. What zodiac sign are you? Cancer.

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? I have three piercings in one ear and two in the other, and a septum piercing that I only wear jewelry in sometimes. I have an illustration (my own) of an eclipse tattooed on my upper back, center and a Mayan drawing of a cacao tree on my right inner forearm. I want about thirty more tattoos.

9. Worst Habit? Procrastination. Tardiness. Impulsiveness.

10. Do we know each other outside of lj? Most of the people I stole this from, yes!

11. What is your favorite sport? watching? Tennis, but not on TV. playing? Frisbee.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Optimistic under a thin veneer of pessimism.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? CRY. I avoid elevators like The Plague. I would rather climb thirty flights of stairs than get in an elevator for two minutes.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? I don't like this question. Moving on.

15. Tell me one weird fact about you: In junior college I appeared in two episodes of a television series made for Chinese television. It was a totally bizarre experience, and I never watched the episodes. My role was that of a student (the evil white girl) trying to blackmail her teacher with threats of reporting sexual abuse. Niiiiiiiiice.

16. Do you have any pets? Nanni, the invisible cat (we never know where she is until she suddenly appears on a lap). Alice, the goat and Isobel, her daughter.

17. Do you know how to do the macerana? Nooooooo.

18. What time is it where you are now? 4:22pm.

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Creepy. Strange. Sad.

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? Unibrow.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Um...sure! As in, both. I'm very indecisive.

22. What color eyes do you have? Chocolate, 57% cacao content.

23. Ever been arrested? Nooooooooo.

24. Bottle or Draft? Can't drink alcohol, but I love a good root beer in a bottle on occasion.

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Make good on some debt and get on with my life.

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Can't...makes my jaw clickety-clack.

27. What 's your favorite bar to hang at? Bar?

28. Do you believe in ghosts? Yep.

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read.

30. Do you swear a lot? Yep.

31. Biggest pet peeve? Being interrupted.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Whimsical.

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? Um...yes?

Schooled

Just got this link from a FB friend: Candlepin bowling.

Nothing like stirring up a little controversy with the natives. Please see my edit to previous post.

Anyway, now I think I'm totally in love with it. Perhaps I should really be questioning why Californians need everything to be so BIG.

Um...please explain.

We set up some snow bowling outside yesterday, and then the kiddos wanted to go bowling at a "real" bowling alley...

So we took them and here's my question: What in (insert your deity of choice here)'s name is this Candlepin Bowling? Is this a New England thing? If anything will make me move back to California, it might be this. Really. The ball is just big enough that my hand doesn't fit around it and the shape of the pins was...oddly disconcerting.

ETA: I would have liked Candlepin a LOT better if the balls were just a shade smaller to accommodate those of us with stumpy thumbs. And I'm just kidding...I LOVE NEW ENGLAND.

Oh, and I test-knit this pattern for Lee of Leethal:

Some funky striping handspun from the early days...
Fun! But not my colors...

On their way...

...to Stitches:



...and that's where my stuff will be. Come and play, West Coasters. Wish I could be there helping out at the booth, but the stars weren't properly aligned for a visit to the Homeland. But, please say hello to Jamie and Blas of Urban Fauna Studio...they are awesome!

Here are some things I sent out for the show:

All manner of goodies. Hard to put several weeks worth of work into a box and send it out into the world. I put a great deal of love into creating this round (as I do every time I spin or felt), and will get to work again this weekend preparing a shipment of felt for the Quilt Show the following weekend. I will be offering more pieces of fabric in my shop, as well. Any input on good sizes for craftspeople to work with are welcomed! I'm just sort of winging it and offering random sizes.

I'm feeling a bit more relaxed since my last emotional post...especially taking to heart something mbernadette said in her comment...that (and I'm embellishing a bit here) it's just not worth it to make myself miserable in the present over a past that no longer exists or a future that hasn't happened yet. Right now I am surrounded by good friends, good food, a beautiful roof over my head, swirling snow flurries dancing outside, warm tea in my belly, and more ideas in my head than I have time to bring to fruition. As confused about the future as I am, as much as I can glorify the recent past, thing right now and right here are just as they should be, comfortable and full of blessings if I just allow myself to see them.

And mbernadette , darlin', here is how Rapunzel spun up:

Soft, squishy camel. Yum.

And sarahcoyne , I almost named this one after you, as it screamed "SARAH'S COLORS!"...perhaps a bit more teal-y and green-y in real life than in the pic:

It's time to go back to the "house" the Little Guy built for us behind the couch. It's cozy and warm and safe from the gale a'blowin' outside. Complete with a comfy bed (a big piece of wood with a small pillow), a potty (ottoman) a roof (chair) and a place to keep my tape measure.

Happy Friday, all.

Feb 19, 2009. Wee hours.

In less than two weeks, a renter will be moving into the farmhouse. OUR house. The place where my son went from little blob of baby jelly to walking, talking, thinking small person, the place where I started my business, learned how to can veggies and make jam, the place where we buried my furry best friend...I don't know if I can handle this. It seemed like we needed, more than anything else, to get out of there. Townshend was a very lonely town for me...Crispin always gone and no neighbors on the same page or even reading the same book as I...driving, always driving to go somewhere else, anywhere else. And now I miss everything about it, the great old barn and my gigantic studio with lime green walls...even the slate floor that broke every time we walked across it and the traffic and the lumpy bumpy backyard. Especially now that we are living with another family (who are awesome, btw), I miss quiet mornings, just the three of us. It only ever happened on the weekends, but I ache for those mornings. I know I felt so trapped there, but it's hard to remember that right now. I just wish I knew if we've made the right decision. I wish I felt confident that things are going to be better for us because we've made this decision. I wish I wasn't up at 1AM typing this through a sea of tears, but I cannot seem to let myself come to a place of acceptance. What's done is done and there is no going back, so somehow I need to find a way to shelve this and think about the Spring and fixing up the cabin...get excited about it all somehow. There are seeds to order and fresh snow in the morning. So many things to look forward to in the coming months if I can just let this go.

Happier things in the morning.
I have photos to share of the goods that went West for Stitches.

My boy said "I love you SO much" today. Then he said, "Mama, you're hugging me too hard."
Goodness.

oops

I was supposed to be working...but I did this instead.

You should, too. They're awesome.

Looking forward...

At the risk of sounding like a total lunatic, I'm not quite ready for Winter to be over. I adore Spring, and I need Spring, but there's so much to be done before it actually gets here. I know the thaw this week is just a wee teaser, and it will most certainly get cold and snowy again, but hoooooooo boy the balmy temps of the past few days have lit a fire under me arse, oh yes.

To do:

-Order SEEDS! We're starting early this year. No sadly immature melon plants at the end of this summer, no, no and no. We have a few really good places to get some plant starts going over the next several weeks and there are zero excuses not to make it happen. Blue jade corn! Himalayan blue poppies! Amish paste tomatoes! Lemon cucumbers!
-Bring over the hoop house C built at the end of last summer. It will be great for the outdoor plant starts when the snow melts.
-Evaluate the cabin for our first construction project...there is still no kitchen, no bathhouse, and no well for either of those things. Holy crap, we have a lot to do there!
-Find some way to agree on how we want those things to work out...C and I seem to have some very different ideas about all of it.
-Harvest our wood pile from under the snow at the old house and bring it over here.
-The chickens! Finish building the new coop and get them over here, too!

But I'm totally preoccupied with so many
Things to look forward to:

-Putting away the woolen underwear for a long time.
-Fresh local veggies!
-Spring and summer craft shows.
-Open windows, open studio.
-Wheelbarrowing the little guy to the pond.
-Picnics at the pond!
-Picnic weather in general.
-Strawberry-picking.
-Sun-kissed skin.
-Rain.
-Watching our goats eat up the blackberry brambles.
-Watching the sheep eat sweet green grass again.
-Watching the chickens eat bugs.
-Baby ducks!
-Baby goat!
-Building at the cabin.
-Scavenging for things to build with at the cabin.
-Stacking wood in the sunshine.
-Rich soil.
-Pulling weeds.
-Walking, running, bicycling!
-Bonfires.
-Roasting marshmallows
-Reading under the shade of a tree.
-Little guy running around naked, slathered in sunblock.

I could go on forever.

This was just the cheering exercise I needed...such a long, tough week emotionally...it is so good to be reminded of the amazing things the coming days will bring. This Winter I've been really susceptible to the malaise and melancholy that dark, cold days can encourage. Lists are my new best friend.

So, even though this was meant to look like a Scrub Jay:

I think I need to get a bit more Spring and Summer into the dyepots...let myself create the colors my eyes are craving. Blossoms, dewy grass, mud and popsicles, lemonade and linen. Bring it on.

Balls!

It was warm enough in the studio today to play with the carder for more than five minutes. Hooray for a little teaser thaw!

I made these:

Some are for my shop and some are for Urban Fauna...

I have been absent, yes. Winter melancholy is really sinking in...it was warm today, the moonlight is bright and sparkling, but another snap of cold is sure to follow, and it turns me inward...I am ready for Spring and planting veggies and opening windows and muddy boots and only two layers of clothing instead of six.

I hate to say it, but we're still moving...there is a renter moving in March 1st, though, so we have added impetus to complete the process and just be done with it already. One of us has to get out there each day to feed the chickens, who are still holding down the old fort, waiting for their chicken coop to be finished on this side of Hwy 9.
C has been sick on his days off every week for the past three weeks, hence the slow progress...on pretty much everything. It's hard for him to get well when every exposed orifice gets filled with shredded paper all day. He's always pulling chunks of it out of his eyes and ears, constantly blowing it out of his nose. Gross.
However, after the job he's working on is finished, it looks like his hours will be pretty dramatically cut. The economic crisis has finally trickled it's way down into the cellulose insulation industry.

So. I'm getting my arse in gear, applying to shows and regularly updating the ol' Etsy. Starting with tonight's ball update and continuing with some yarn and felt scarves throughout the week.

Oh, and I tried hanging out with a new friend:

Apparently we have zero chemistry. Needless to say, the relationship did not last long.
Sigh.

Mr. Lendrum, however, has come through above and beyond...LOVE HIM. New parts are on the way to me now, at no charge. LOVE HIM.

And now I shall attempt to rest even though the night seems brighter than the day and this giant round moon makes me crazy. Chocolate cookies have been washed down with peppermint tea and the house kitties are on the prowl, waiting for me to turn off the light so they can use their night eyes.

I'll leave you with this:

I made a hat. (Rav link)
I love it.

25 Things

Because not all y'all are privy to my FB...here is my contribution to the 25 Things that were going around...

1. I think chocolate should be classified as a fruit. It comes out of a pod, after all, that grows on a beautiful tree with gorgeous pink flowers. Said tree is tattooed on my right inner forearm. Because it's a FRUIT, and I love it, and I'm pretty sure I was once a tropical bird.

2. I spent the first 27 years of my life in California, and this is now my fourth Winter in Vermont. I am tropical bird turned snow bunny.

3. We lived in a 200-year-old farmhouse for the last three years...this summer we move to a log cabin in the woods.

4. I make excellent granola.

5. And cookies (also a fruit).

6. Young Me would raise an eyebrow at Now Me. For countless reasons.

7. Being married and having a child would probably be tops on the list.

8. I miss rock climbing so much my body aches for it daily, physically and spiritually. I don't happen to live near any good spots, but I fantasize about building a training wall at the cabin. Funny how a three-hour drive to Yosemite meant nothing when I lived in the Bay Area, but a three-hour drive into NH is a huge pain in the ass for me now.

9. I also miss 100-mile bike rides in 100 degrees.

10. I plan to get a new bike this Spring, even if I have to sell a kidney.

11. I'm inexplicably terrified of pool lights.

12. I never ride elevators alone.

13. I spill and break things. A lot. In fact, I just spilled tea on my laptop. Shit.

14. I drink a LOT of tea.

15. I had a very difficult time in school, socially speaking, from kindergarten on up. Theater was my escape in high school, and I continued with it as my major through the first couple years of college.

16. I suffered through an eating disorder my last two years of college (as did my boyfriend at the time, whether or not he ever admitted it), and used photography as a means to cope and work through it. Exploring the topic became my graduating thesis and gallery show.

17. I put away my camera for a long time after that.

18. I'm picking it back up again.

19. I delight in the absurdity of modern life. That is, when I'm not paralyzed by it.

20. Contrary to popular opinion (I've had to explain this to my step-dad at least 50 times), I am not vegan. I support local food movements and our immediate future plans involve a neighborhood milking cow and lots of yoghurt and cheese-making.

21. In my business, I support small family farms and humane farming practices. I'd like to raise my own sheep someday. Oh, and some pygoras would be nice.

22. Said business is wool-play. I dye fiber, spin fiber, felt fiber...it is a comforting meditation. I try to tell my stories with it.

23. I have too many stories I have not told.

24. I worry too much about how I am bringing up my son in a world where peace is elusive and social collapse is imminent. I have so much to learn from him, he who wears joy on his sleeve, forgiveness in his pocket and carries in him a heart wide open to new adventures.

25. I'm deeply in love with a fictional character, which is okay because he's JUST LIKE my husband. Well, you know, if he were a British sea captain a couple hundred years ago...